so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
