Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He shit in the fireplace
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
