Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
