I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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