I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
