I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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