I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
