I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
