you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Someone signed my nipple.
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