I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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