Having a random hookup so left but love u
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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