I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
