You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize