I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
