yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
