Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
