I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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