I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
