Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
