Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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