Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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