new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish you could order shots online.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
