it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
