Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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