We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
