they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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