week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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