How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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