CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
