I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
