I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
