So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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