I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
