it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
