How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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