he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
