I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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