ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
one might say we're banned from that church
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
