dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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