I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
