If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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