Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
