im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
