Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize