Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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