also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
