You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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