plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
