Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
