After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
