Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
