it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
