I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
