Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
