what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you. Go after that dick
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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