I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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