Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
