"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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