things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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