can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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