You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dear god my vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize