dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
