What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Houston, we have a blender
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
