Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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