im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
