I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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