i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
