He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
