i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
