You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize