i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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