Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont even know how to be here
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
