I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My balls are so social today.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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