they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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